When Mountain Top Experiences are Few

Last Sunday I preached a sermon, one that was in part autobiographical. In it I noted four mountain top experiences that have helped form me. I did so in order to help my new congregation understand where I'm coming from. I mentioned my wedding, the birth of our son, my ordination, and the receipt of my Ph.D. These four events mark me, so I told the congregation, as Husband, Father (Parent), Pastor and Scholar.

By any stretch of the imagination these are positive markers. Cheryl and I have been married 25 years, our son graduated from high school and is set to go to college, I have been a pastor for the past 10 years (not all of which have been positive years), and have become a scholar of the church.

The question was raised, but what if the mountain top experiences are few or even not present? In what way has God spoken? What if the spiritual experiences have been more the dark night of the soul than the highly ecstatic moments on the mountain. What if the experiences have been more the cross than the mount of Transfiguration, more watching the people of God reject your leadership than standing before God on Mount Sinai receiving tablets of the Law?

In other words, might my presentation have been stronger if I had noted the difficult times as well as the high marks? What if I had shared the great angst I felt after losing my position as a theology professor -- after all I had thought myself called to the academic life and it had taken 4 years to get to that point -- or the deep sense 0f failure I had felt after having to resign from my first pastorate? Indeed, I could go back to the termination of my youth ministry years before. Had God spoken in these moments? Were not these moments of great despair and disappointment equally forming of who I am today? If I'm honest, I have to say yes they were. Perhaps they were even more important to my eventual calling as pastor of this congregation that I serve today. But we would rather highlight the positive points than the negatives, but often it is the thorns in the flesh that lead us close to God, and allow us to hear God's voice.