Wedding Bells—Lectionary Reflection for Pentecost 6A/Proper 9A (Genesis 24)

Genesis 24:34-38, 42-49, 58-67 New Revised Standard Version Updated Edition

³⁴ So he said, “I am Abraham’s servant. ³⁵ The Lord has greatly blessed my master, and he has become wealthy; he has given him flocks and herds, silver and gold, male and female slaves, camels and donkeys. ³⁶ And Sarah my master’s wife bore a son to my master when she was old, and he has given him all that he has. ³⁷ My master made me swear, saying, ‘You shall not take a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites in whose land I live, ³⁸ but you shall go to my father’s house, to my kindred, and get a wife for my son.’

⁴² “I came today to the spring and said, ‘O Lord, God of my master Abraham, if now you will only make successful the way I am going! ⁴³ I am standing here by the spring of water; let the young woman who comes out to draw, to whom I shall say, “Please give me a little water from your jar to drink,” ⁴⁴ and who will say to me, “Drink, and I will draw for your camels also”—let her be the woman whom the Lord has appointed for my master’s son.’

⁴⁵ “Before I had finished speaking in my heart, there was Rebekah coming out with her water jar on her shoulder, and she went down to the spring and drew. I said to her, ‘Please let me drink.’ ⁴⁶ She quickly let down her jar from her shoulder and said, ‘Drink, and I will also water your camels.’ So I drank, and she also watered the camels. ⁴⁷ Then I asked her, ‘Whose daughter are you?’ She said, ‘The daughter of Bethuel, Nahor’s son, whom Milcah bore to him.’ So I put the ring on her nose and the bracelets on her arms. ⁴⁸ Then I bowed my head and worshiped the Lord and blessed the Lord, the God of my master Abraham, who had led me by the right way to obtain the daughter of my master’s kinsman for his son. ⁴⁹ Now then, if you will deal loyally and truly with my master, tell me; and if not, tell me, so that I may turn either to the right hand or to the left.”

⁵⁸ And they called Rebekah and said to her, “Will you go with this man?” She said, “I will.” ⁵⁹ So they sent away their sister Rebekah and her nurse along with Abraham’s servant and his men. ⁶⁰ And they blessed Rebekah and said to her,

“May you, our sister, become

    thousands of myriads;

may your offspring gain possession

    of the gates of their foes.”

⁶¹ Then Rebekah and her maids rose up, mounted the camels, and followed the man, and the servant took Rebekah and went his way.

⁶² Now Isaac had come from Beer-lahai-roi and was settled in the Negeb. ⁶³ Isaac went out in the evening to walk in the field, and, looking up, he saw camels coming. ⁶⁴ And Rebekah looked up, and when she saw Isaac, she slipped quickly from the camel ⁶⁵ and said to the servant, “Who is the man over there, walking in the field to meet us?” The servant said, “It is my master.” So she took her veil and covered herself. ⁶⁶ And the servant told Isaac all the things that he had done. ⁶⁷ Then Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah’s tent. He took Rebekah, and she became his wife, and he loved her. So Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death.

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                When I hear people talk about biblical family values, I often wonder what they mean. Cultural practices were much different two to four thousand years in the past. Most often marriages were arranged by families, often keeping the marriages within the family boundaries. That was true, apparently, for Abraham and Sarah. It was also true for their son Isaac. I can’t help but read this passage through the lens of my own marriage, which on July 9, 2023, marks the fortieth anniversary of the day Cheryl and I said “I Do” (I’m preaching on July 9^th, just not from Genesis 24!). A passage like this, however, while not, in my mind, offering guidance as to how to choose a mate, can serve as a starting point for conversations about what marriage is all about. After all, as the title of the bible study guide, I authored, concerning marriage, we are experiencing Marriage in Interesting Times.

                While there is considerable pushback in certain quarters to the Supreme Court decision in 2015 that made marriage equality the law of the land, it has opened new opportunities for discussions about the nature and purpose of marriage. With that decision, at least in the United States, legally, marriage is no longer confined to just a man and a woman (on the question of same gender-marriage see David Gushee’s Changing Our Mind, ch. 16). Another complicating factor is the trend to postpone marriage until couples are settled in their careers. In other words, a lot has changed since Cheryl and I got married forty years ago. Things have changed even more dramatically over the past three thousand years. It’s that dramatic change that led me to create astudy guide on marriage-related biblical passages. As we study scripture it should become clear that “biblical marriage” whatever that might involve, is not the same thing as 1950s-era family arrangements. So, if we’re going to have a conversation about “biblical marriage” it might be good to know what the Bible actually says (and not just a few proof texts taken out of context).

                The story that lies before us takes place after the death of Sarah. Abraham is still living, but he wants to make sure that the promise of descendants continues. He also wants to honor Sarah’s request that Isaac not marry one of the Canaanite women living in the neighborhood. Instead, Sarah wanted Isaac to take a wife from among their own kinship group. With the need to continue the family legacy and the need to find a wife for Isaac from among their kinship group, Abraham sends a servant to the house of his nephew Bethuel, son of his brother Nahor, with instructions to bring home a wife for Isaac.

                The key players in this story include Abraham’s servant, Rebekah, and Isaac. The story covers all of Genesis 24 (67 verses), but the lectionary provides us with key excerpts. These verses focus on the servant’s discovery of Rebekah, her agreement to go with the servant and Isaac’s positive reception of Rebekah.

                The passage begins with the servant’s prayer, a prayer that includes the story of his assignment, asking God to guide him to the right person. The prayer is quite specific. He asks that the right person would be the first woman coming to a well to draw water. This woman is to agree to provide him and his camels with a drink of water. Oh, and the servant reminds Yahweh that Yahweh had “greatly blessed my master, and he has become wealthy.” In other words, the servant reminds Yahweh that Isaac will be a great catch for the right woman. It doesn’t take long before the servant’s prayer is answered, as Rebekah, the daughter of Bethuel, son of Nahor, comes to the well and agrees to provide him with water and water his camels. As Ashley Wilcox points out Rebekah may not hear a word from God, but she fulfills the prayer request of the servant. How does she do this?  Wilcox writes that the text describes Rebekah’s generosity after the servant asks her to provide him with water and give water to the ten camels. Wilcox further writes: “This is a huge amount of water: one came can drink 20-30 gallons of water at a time. It suggests a scene of Rebekah running back and forth, filling the trough over and over. Rebekah is a generous person, so she responds generously, which is a sign to the servant that she is the person he seeks” [The Women’s Lectionary, pp. 172-173]. It’s at this point that the servant asks the woman her name and her family connections. She responds that her name is Rebekah, daughter of Bethuel and Milcah. At that, the servant is quite happy. He’s come to the right place and God has answered his prayer. In response to the answer, he gives Rebekah gifts—a ring for a nose and a bracelet. Oh, and the servant gave thanks to God for answering the prayer!

                The only question now had to do with whether Rebekah and her family would agree to the marriage. In verses 50-51, we get an answer from Bethuel and Rebekah’s brother. After hearing the story, they are convinced that this is from God, so they agree to let the servant take Rebekah to the home of Abraham to be Isaac’s wife, for “the Lord has spoken.” To this point, things are going according to normal customs, but what is interesting here is that Rebekah is given a voice in this decision. But first, the servant gave her lots of gifts, along with gifts to her brother Laban and her mother. In the end, the family asks Rebekah whether she will go with the servant.  The good news for Isaac and Abraham is that she agrees to go with the servant and have a new life with Isaac. Ashley Wilcox again points to the positive qualities possessed by Rebekah, including her bravery and resoluteness. Thus, after the servant tells the entire story to the family, the family asks whether she’ll go with the servant. “She says ‘I will’ (24:58). It may be that God is speaking to Rebekah through her very nature: when she behaves generously, bravely, and decisively, the next step opens to her” [The Women’s Lectionary, p. 173]. This story raises the question of how we might hear from God. As Wilcox suggests, when it comes to Rebekah, it is rooted in her personhood. She acts according to her identity, and in doing so responds to God. As a result, “Rebekah has become part of the story of God’s people because she makes a decision to go when her family asks her wishes. The text invites us to consider how we hear the voice of God and how God speaks to those around us” [Wilcox, The Women’s Lectionary, p. 173].

                Once the decision had been made, Rebekah’s family sent her off with a song of praise: “May you, our sister, become thousands of myriads; may your offspring gain possession of the gates of their foes.” I italicized the words “become thousands of myriads” because it speaks to the covenant promise that Abraham and Sarah would be the ancestors of a myriad of nations. Now, having agreed to become Isaac’s wife, Rebekah became part of God’s covenant plan to bless the nations through Abraham and Sarah’s descendants.

                The last element in the story has to do with how Isaac will respond to Rebekah. To this point in the story, Isaac is absent. He didn’t send the servant to find a wife. In fact, there’s no evidence that he wanted to get married. Whether he got married or not wasn’t in his hands. It was in the hands of Abraham, who made sure that his son got married so that the covenant promise could continue to another generation. While Rebekah had agreed to the arrangement, would Isaac agree as well?

                When the servant returned to Canaan accompanied by Rebekah and her entourage, Isaac is returning from the Negeb desert, where he had been living. We will need to use our imaginations to picture the scene. The narrator sets the scene. Isaac has gone out for an evening stroll when he spots the caravan coming his way. As for Rebekah, when she saw Isaac sees the camel train, she gets down from her camel and asks the servant who this man was who was walking toward them. To this point, neither Isaac nor Rebekah had met. Nevertheless, their futures were intertwined, now and forever. That’s because they would play an essential role in the fulfillment of God’s covenant plan. Remember that Isaac is the promised child. It is through him that the covenant promise of blessing to the nations will continue. That can’t happen without a partner. That partner will be Rebekah. According to the authors of Genesis, God is guiding the process. Thus, we might say that this is a “marriage made in heaven.” 

                The good news is that even as Rebekah said yes to the proposal, Isaac does the same. Things work out well for Isaac and Rebekah. When they meet, “Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah’s tent. He took Rebekah, and she became his wife; and he loved her.” Everything worked out. She becomes his wife when Isaac takes her into his tent. There is no elaborate modern wedding here. They go into the tent, consummate the relationship, and the rest is history. Not only does Isaac find a wife to love, but Rebekah’s presence in his life brings him comfort after the death of his mother.  

                When we bring this reading down to the level of our own lives, what do we hear? How does God act in our lives? On what basis did I choose my spouse, or did she choose me? Was it God’s intention that we marry? Could we have married someone else or not even get married? Through the years I’ve heard people speak of God choosing their spouse for them. That sounds a lot like determinism to me. Is it possible that Cheryl and I could have married other people? Or not even got married? Our choices, of course, have consequences. But isn’t that the way things work in life, even for God? God may have something in mind, but at least in the short term, our choices contribute to whatever God has in mind. So, if either Rebekah or Isaac had chosen a different path, could God have provided a different opportunity to fulfill the promise?

                As we will discover as we move into Genesis 25 (Proper 10A), the family dynamics that emerge over time are complicated. Isaac and Rebekah have different agendas, but the promise will continue to another generation. As we follow the Genesis story, with the promise God makes to Abraham that through his descendants the nations would be blessed (Gen. 12), we discover many twists and turns. The question that continues to pop up is how God is involved, and how our choices influence the way God’s promises come to fruition. Theologically, the question here has to do with providence. Does God predetermine our paths or is the future open? How we read a passage like this depends on how we answer that question. However, we answer the question, a central message present here and elsewhere in this story has to do with God’s faithfulness that is rooted in God’s steadfast love for Israel and the world.