Suicide and the Communion of Saints (Rhonda Mawhood Lee) - A Review
Most of us reading this book review
know someone who has contemplated suicide or completed the act of killing
themselves. Perhaps you, as the reader, have contemplated or attempted to kill
yourself. The reasons people give for taking
their own lives are varied. In most cases, this takes place when a person feels
like there is no way out of the situation in which they find themselves. Through
the centuries, suicide has been criminalized and demonized, especially in
Christian contexts. A person who kills themselves may be condemned to hell by
their faith tradition and possibly denied burial or a funeral service. The
truth is, we're not very comfortable with suicide. While society may wish to
prevent suicide, we struggle with finding ways to fulfil this goal. So, maybe
we need to have a better understanding of suicide, especially from a Christian
perspective.
Rhonda Mawhood Lee is an Episcopal
priest, historian, and spiritual director who came to faith and entered the
priesthood as an adult after her mother's suicide. She currently serves on the
Episcopal Church’s General Board of Examining Chaplains. In her book Suicide
and the Communion of Saints, Lee invites us to consider the realities of
suicide and does so from a very personal perspective, since this is part of her
own family history. This is, of course, a difficult topic, which is why she
offers the reader a forewarning at the beginning of the book. She suggests that
people who were recently bereaved by suicide might not choose this moment to
read the book. Nevertheless, this is an important topic, especially for clergy
and those in helping professions, along with those who have faced the reality
of a loved one killing themselves or who wish to support someone who is
grieving after someone close to them took their life. While this is a
challenging topic, the book itself is very accessible to the general reader.
Regarding the scope of the book, Lee
focuses her attention on what is known as "despair suicide." This
form of suicide involves a deliberately self-inflicted death "in response
to psychic pain the person finds unbearable, sometimes combined with
intolerable life-circumstances." (pp. viii-ix). Among the questions
addressed here are theological ones, such as whether someone who kills themself
is condemned to hell and whether it is appropriate to have a funeral for them.
She also addresses ways of speaking of suicide in such a situation.
Lee begins her book, after offering
her forewarning, with an “Introduction,” in which she shares details about her
own family’s experiences with suicide, along with laying out the questions that
are involved when one speaks of suicide. This includes the various explanations
people give for it. Among the questions addressed and introduced at the
beginning is whether this is a mortal sin leading to condemnation to hell. She
writes that she had written the book "to accompany fellow Christians who
are ready to think and pray about suicide differently, and who want to find and
offer hope to people affected by suicide." (p. 8). She also notes that this
discussion isn't comprehensive. Rather, it is designed to be evocative and
thought-provoking. I believe that Lee succeeds in doing just that.
Rhonda Mawhood Lee divides Suicide and the Communion of Saints into two parts. She titles Part One,
"Suicide, Sin, and Grace." The chapters in this section provide introductory
and historical information needed for having a conversation about suicide,
especially from a Christian perspective. Part Two, titled "The Communion
of Saints," focuses more specifically on suicide and the Christian faith.
This includes questions about whether we can hope for the full redemption of
those who take their own lives, so they too may join the communion of saints.
The first chapter in Part One is
titled "How We Talk about Suicide." This chapter offers a helpful
discussion of the words we use when speaking of suicide, and whether this
particular word is the most appropriate for self-inflicted death. She is
especially concerned about the use of the commonly used phrase, that being
"committed suicide." That is because the word “commit” suggests that
suicide is “a sin, a crime, or both.” She writes that she does not want to “put
that kind of judgment on my mother, or anyone, through the simple act of
sharing the manner of her death” (p. 16). After discussing the ways we might
speak of taking one’s own life, she moves in chapter two, titled "Suicide
and the Bible," to a conversation about how Scripture speaks of suicide.
She concludes that overall, one will not find many discussions in the Bible of
people killing themselves. More often than not, we find stories that at least
implicitly speak to the area of concern. Perhaps the best-known discussion is
that of Judas, but even here, there are disagreements about the story of his
death. She notes that only Matthew records that Judas actually killed himself.
Luke is more ambiguous. Ultimately, Scripture provides more general principles
than stories. Chapter three focuses on two figures who have been influential in
the development of Christian responses to suicide: "Augustine and
Thomas." While their writings have influenced later developments, Lee
emphasizes their context and the pastoral orientation of their responses. She
points out that in Augustine's case, one of the issues at hand concerned
responses by Christian women to the prospect of rape at a time of great turmoil
in Roman society due to invasions from outside the empire. Regarding the
question of whether a woman should kill herself rather than be defiled, Augustine
suggested that they should refrain from taking such actions because they stood
under grace. In other words, he was less concerned about purity when writing against
suicide. As for Thomas, he codified what became foundational for the church,
arguing that suicide rejected God's gift of life. One of Thomas' concerns
focused on the danger posed by this particular sin because it left a person
without a place for the expiation of their sin through penance. She titles Chapter
4 "Unforeseen Consequences." In this chapter, Lee addresses some of
the consequences of Augustine's and Thomas' teachings, while also addressing
the arguments of those who might resist their teaching. In other words, while
some took very legalistic views, others took more nuanced views. What she
reveals is a very complicated history when it comes to the church’s response to
suicide. The final chapter in Part One is titled "Sinful Settings."
Here she deals with stories of people choosing to take their own lives because
of the situations of life they faced, especially violence against them
perpetrated by Christians. Among the stories here, she brings up the responses
of enslaved people who took their own lives rather than continue in bondage.
The stories in this chapter are heartbreaking but understandable.
In Part Two, which is titled "The
Communion of Saints," Lee seeks to employ the image of the communion of
saints "to reimagine our relationships with people who have died by
suicide, and with those of us who are in danger of dying that way" (p. 9).
This is a helpful image because it includes those who die by suicide in the
company of the saints rather than excluding them. This challenges traditional
teaching, but should provide encouragement and hope, especially for family
members affected by suicide. The first chapter in this section is titled
"The Suicidal Christian" (chapter 6). This chapter serves as a
recognition that Christians can be suicidal because they experience deep
despair. Her message here is especially important to the larger Christian
community, reminding us that we can accompany those with suicidal ideation
without blaming or shaming them because they lack faith. Thus, "Christian
communities can channel our trust in the resurrection to equip us to accompany
God's people who are in suicidal distress" (p. 70). Chapter Seven is titled
"Suicide and the Communion of Saints." In this chapter, she
introduces us to the image of the communion of saints as a reminder that our
stories are intertwined and extend across time and space. Therefore, we can
envision our loved ones who die by suicide living in God's embrace. So,
"as heirs of harmful church teachings, we have a responsibility to offer
more hopeful perspectives that more fully express our trust in God's
grace" (pp. 72-73). With that in mind, we can consider how we might
involve ourselves in supportive positions with those in need. The final chapter
is titled "Remembering God's People Who Die by Suicide" (Chapter 8). In
this chapter, Lee addresses the ways we might remember a person who dies by
suicide. It is here that she addresses more fully questions about funerals and
memorial services, as well as what one might say in such cases. Another
question concerns how open one should be about the circumstances involved. These
are important questions for clergy, family, and friends. Writing as an Episcopal
priest, she notes that the liturgy is centered on Easter and the resurrection.
Therefore, the emphasis is on the hope that our loved one experiences the
resurrection and joins the communion of saints. I checked the service book for
my denomination, and it does include two prayers relating to death by suicide.
The advice here is to emphasize the “valued gifts of this person, rather than upon
how the life has ended” (Chalice Worship, p. 73). I would imagine other
service books offer similar resources.
We need books like this one. Rhonda
Mawhood Lee’s Suicide and the Communion of Saints is brief (right at 100
pages), accessible, and very pastoral. It is also a very personal book since Lee
writes as a person who has been directly affected by the suicide of her own
mother. She also grew up with her grandmother's belief that death by suicide will
lead to a person being condemned to hell. Having processed her own feelings,
experiences, and beliefs, she is equipped to help others wrestle with similar
concerns and questions. Because Suicide and the Communion of Saints is
pastoral and very accessible for a general audience, it can be used in group
discussions of suicide, perhaps by church groups. With that in mind, Lee
provides the reader with a set of questions for each chapter that can be useful
for personal reflection and group discussion. I hope that Lee’s Suicide and the
Communion of Saints will prove helpful and encouraging to friends and
family of those who have died by suicide, along with those who have
contemplated or attempted suicide, who need support to move forward from their
despair. She roots her message in her belief in the communion of saints, a
communion of which we are all part, whether living or dead.
Copies of Rhonda Mawhood Lee's Suicide and the Communion of Saints can be purchased at your favorite retailer, including my Amazon affiliate bookstore and my Bookshop.Org affiliate store.
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