The humanness of a saint

In life Mother Teresa was one whose very life breathed holiness. When you thought of Jesus and his ministry, you thought of her. In death, even Protestants acclaim her one of the great saints of the church. Her willingness to give totally of herself remains a challenge to us all.

That she struggled with her faith, that the ecstasies she once experienced gave way to silence and dryness seems at first odd, and yet there's something quite compelling in this story. Even as she gave herself to a ministry of care to the least of God's children, she took on their pain and experienced their aloneness. That she longed to hear the voice of Christ, is understandable. We do long to hear God's voice speak to us.

The blogosphere is of course abuzz at the news of her "dark night of the soul" as it's revealed in a most important Time Magazine cover story. In her letters to her superiors and to her confessors she revealed a side of herself that none of the rest of us had access to.

And so we read words such as these:

So many unanswered questions live within me afraid to uncover them -- because of the blasphemy -- If there be God -- please forgive me -- When I try to raise my thoughts to Heaven -- there is such convicting emptiness that those very thoughts return like sharp knives & hurt my very soul. -- I am told God loves me -- and yet the reality of darkness& coldness & emptiness is so great that nothing touches my soul. Did I make a mistake in surrendering blindly to the Call of the Sacred Heart? (Undated prayer to Jesus).

I await the book of her letters -- Come Be My Light -- to read more and to have my own heart touched. Yes, there are those like Christopher Hitchens who find confirmation of their skepticism, and it's understandable, but I hear something different. I hear a word of hope for those of us who also experience the spiritual deserts -- our own "dark night of the soul," a night that essentially lasted for a half century never to be lifted. But perhaps she drew so close to Jesus in her service that it would be humanly impossible to hear. I don't know, but I commend her for her faithfulness in the midst of her doubts.